So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
