its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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