they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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