You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize