How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
