"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Randomize
