If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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