Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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