ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
it glows. i had to have it.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
