At least make sure they are 18
Why
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I can't turn off my feet"
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
