Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
