Who wears a wallet chain?!
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
