I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize