Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
