I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
