I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
that's an acceptable place to lick
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize