lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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