first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize