You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
