I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
