I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
