She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
