..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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