I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize