you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
