That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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