what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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