Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Randomize
