Screwed.edu
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
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