3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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