I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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