im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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