u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize