every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
that is very illegal...i love you.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
