someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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