Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
