You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
