I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
