A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Couch. On fire.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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