he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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