1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
