i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
