just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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