i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
