I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
