i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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