he puts the penis in happiness.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
he high fived his dick after we had sex
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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