New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
