Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Terrible idea I love it
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