glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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