I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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