i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
