you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
