so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
