I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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