I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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