I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Randomize
