she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
