What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
His nipple licking is glorious
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