You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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