answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
