so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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