Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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