yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
