i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
