what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
