The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
