i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
