You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
