Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
